I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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