i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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