So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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