I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
