Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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