You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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