your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
