i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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