He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'm passing your future prison.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
