you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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