He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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