I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
The ass gains better be worth it
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