um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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