I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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