before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
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This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
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I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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