Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
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We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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