All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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