i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
