nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
