I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize