i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize