You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
