Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
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I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
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Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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