i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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