I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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