I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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