Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
