We named our party play list daddy issues
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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