It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
