Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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