I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize