around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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