You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
