Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
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I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
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lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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