Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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