U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
