Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
