Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
My ass is underappreciated
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize