I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize