Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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