i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Randomize
