Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
