Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
