What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made out with another girl for some wings
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize