watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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