every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
