i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
