I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
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