Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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