I have demons in me.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
