Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
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