put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
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I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
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PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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