You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
His nipple licking is glorious
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