I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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