My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize