woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
