So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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