Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Well I just put wine in my tea
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
